Letter To My Younger Self
Dear Me of Ten Years Ago,
How come you let yourself believe you're not good at anything?
That you will not do anything at all?
Success will be far away from you?
Huh. U are just stupid!
Do you know why you're feeling so broke and unfulfilled right now? It's because you're too darn hard on yourself.
You went for opting CA— then you gave up.
You taught yourself to knit — then you gave up.
You tried writing — then you gave up.
And why? Because every time you tried something you told yourself you weren't good enough. You thought you could never amount to anything so you might as well quit.
Why did you fall for such negativity?
You feel lost? You don't know who you are? Of course, you don't and I can tell you why.
It's because YOU are creative but you're hiding it in some deep dark corner of your soul, hyper-focused on your flaws. Yes, there are flaws, but they were never as big as you imagined them to be. You've been so wise, dear! You've been wiser than I could ever imagine.
One day, in the future, you're going to find your old sketchbook. You're going to look at that little dress you designed for your baby and guess what you're going to see? Not the flaws, but the beauty, and potential, and the love you put into it. You're going to say
WOW! I was a lot better than I thought. You're going to rejoice in your talent.
Chill for now!
It's an information overload here, I tell you.
When mom scolds you to go to bed on time to get your 10 hours of sleep, instead of getting rebellious, Thank her! You will be lucky to sleep even for 6 hours once you are working or having a kid. You will have a love-hate relationship with sleep once the world hammers the notion of responsibility and achievement in you. Enjoy it till you can.
Value your education and extract the most out of it while you can. Please stay focused and study hard. Pay heed to feedback that you constantly get from your teachers about reading & speaking very fast, also trust Nana's explanation to it that you think fast, that's why you speak fast! But improve, nevertheless.
Write more often. Scribble your thoughts on paper, even if nothing makes sense. Also, do away with the habit of hiding your diaries near the old newspaper area; mom might just give them away to the scrap guy along with the papers. Just saying.
Never hide anything from your parents. Don't take them as rivals. They will turn out to be an immensely strong pillar of support in unexpected situations you will land into. At times, you might feel they know nothing about your whereabouts- There's a good chance they are hooked on you- for your safety! Parents are the only people who will take your mood swings and grudges with absolutely no complaint. Trust me!
You will fall in love. With many. There will be heartbreaks too and in plenty. Your first love will dump you unceremoniously, making you think that the world has come to an end. You'll survive that, to end up falling repeatedly for many other boys. Finally, you will find the one you would be blessed to live your life with, many more might appear to come after that too, ignore them! Ps: Sex is highly overrated, don't sweat if you don't get any till twenty-one. You will be supplied with plenty after that.
Don't hide the fact that your life is complicated. You're juggling a career and parenthood- it's going to be messy! Listen to your gut on all things mothering.
Purely giving material things to your kid may appear to be the right decision. You love them, and you are always there for them. You want them to live a beautiful, comfortable life, right? But the day will come when you realize that as much as you believed you were doing the right thing, you were holding them back. While you were feeling satisfied with yourself, you were slowly eating away at their dreams and ambitions. You were adding material things to their lives, but subtracting the most precious gifts of all: independence and growth.
Understand that you are about to be the leader of the family, and this involves making tough choices, even if your kids do not understand them at the time. Invest in their future, don't just give. Use your success, wealth, and influence to put them in the best position to realize their dreams and find their true purpose. Put them through school, set them up with job interviews, and help them become leaders in their own right. Hold them to the same level of hard work and dedication that it took for you to get to where you are now, and where you will eventually go. As time goes on, you will see them grow independently and have their ambitions and their own lives, and your relationship with all of them will be much better as a result.
Finally like trees you will get attracted and grow towards the sunlight. Choose your Sun carefully. Do what excites you the most, whatever makes you shit-scared and makes you sweat. Be out of your comfort zone.
Jobs in your 20s help you build personal assets, e.g., communication skills and problem-solving abilities. Expand your assets with unique experiences and opportunities. Connect to those outside your inner circle by making yourself relevant to them. Research the person and ask for a clearly defined favor. They will be more than happy to help. Don't be shy.
You spend a lot of time in school and university to prepare your future career. But you do not have all that training to prepare for your future lifetime partner. Learn to work on your relationships.
During your 20s is when the pressure is on to marry and start a family. If that is the reason you marry, it often leads to less than perfect matches. Thinking deeper about whom you date in your 20s can be an opportunity to discover the qualities that truly matter to you. The most important quality to consider is whether both of you have a shared vision of life. A couple will be more likely to compromise and bridge their differences if they share the same vision.
Know that it might take a long time for your paid work and your passion to overlap. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to make and do the things you want to do. Even if you don't find an audience or a following for these side projects, keep doing and trying new things and putting them out into the world. Be kind and supportive to your peers. Know that it might take a long time for your paid work and your passion to overlap.
Don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. Know that the only one who can make things happen for you is you. And don't give a damn what anyone else thinks about what you want to do — just go do it and make it happen.
Eventually, you'll start creating your opportunities. You'll learn how to hustle, network with people, and ask for things. Once you start setting goals for yourself, you'll achieve things you never thought you could do. Stop sitting around waiting for things to come to you, go get them yourself!
Oh, I'm sure that a whole bunch of circumstances changed.
Relationships, work, acquired skills, money, where you live…
But those aren't the point.
The really interesting thing that changed is not external, because it's you.
Over time, you change. Bit by bit, and sometimes with a leap, for some people.
And you'll find that if you do go through this, there are things present in your life today that was there back then as well and they used to annoy the crap out of you…
But these days, they don't.
Why did those things stop bothering you so much, when the things themselves didn't change?
Because YOU changed.
When you change, your perception changes. Your perception of yourself, of your world, and your place in it.
And when that changes, everything changes.
So the trick to living a more fulfilled, rewarding life, is to work on inner change.
I recently learned how to coach myself into changing my view and therefore my world, and now I get to tell those tricks to others.
And it's beautiful to see what happens.
Suddenly the eyes light up. Suddenly, you get to see yourself differently, and you realize the potential that's in you and the possibilities out there in the world.
This is what writing does: it shows you a version of reality, where the marriage between your potential and the world's possibilities becomes a fixture in your life.
And the best thing? There's nothing at all you need to change to live that way: not your spouse, or your kids, your job, or your income.
All that needs to change is your mind. And that can't be too hard, can it?
Want insight that changed your world?
Your perception of things?
Talk to me.
Tell us in the comments section below because we love to hear from you. ❤️